After 17 years of celibacy I have decided to date!
Praying for wisdom,guidance and patience.
I am also becoming more extroverted online and in the real world.
Been blessed to be making more friends online. I am actually messaging a few male friends back now. MAJOR ADVANCEMENT !
BUCKET LIST:
Date Again!
See the ocean.
Fly in a plane.
Get my passport.
Get married again.
Use all the gifts God gave me.
Be more supportive of everyone…except Republicans. LOL!
Be more compassionate.
Be more outgoing.
Stop having social anxiety and panic attacks.
Get use to talking on the phone without having a panic attack.
Get healthier.
Smile more.
Help those less fortunate.
Be more patient.
Be more vocal online.
Lose more weight.
Make new friends.
I have a few men that I am interested in. Just wanting for them to make a move. Having all kinds of men flirt with me online and reality…I am now trying to FLIRT with guys in person. Social Anxiety Sucks!
I am so proud of Rosie. She has lost 175 lbs now. She will be able to get fitted for a new wheelchair in July! Rosie only weighs 35 lbs more than me now. Looking great! You go sis! Rosie is wearing size 20-22 jeans now.
I am down to size 10-12 in jeans. Down from a 26. WOO-HOO.
Rosie and I both are now getting allergy shots.
Thinking about talking to my family doc about my mood swings.
May even start seeing a shrink again.
Wish Rosie would not have so much nausea and vomiting. She even had a dizzy spell today.
Having fibromyalgia aches and pains.. plus Fibro Fog. I hate the mental confusion it creates. Not thinking clearly. Seems like I think in slow-mo. HATE IT!
Enjoying my new puppy. SnickerDoodle,he is a BLONDE Long haired Miniature Dachshund,who worships me!
Snickers gets along with all our pets:Smoki,Jazzi,Punkin,Panther and Tater.
Snickers loves going bye-bye.
Smoki and Snickers love baskin-robbins ice cream. Take them every few weeks.
My Best friend John has been having health issues. I am worried about him. Pray that he gets better and that he sleeps well.
I have been wearing short skirts,pantyhose and knee high leather boots. I have fabulous legs! Bet I tried on 20 pairs of boots till I found one to fit my skinny legs.
I layered my hair a few weeks ago and can’t believe how wavy it is naturally.
Haven’t had much sleep lately. Rosie wakes me up a few times nightly. Tummy issues. Pray that I get some decent sleep tonight.
Praying for the man I was created for,the one God designed for me. I KNOW you are out there waiting for me. Thinking of me. Praying for me. Maybe we already know one another. Grant US both wisdom,guidance,&patience. Open up our hearts,minds,souls,and spirits to recognize each other when the time is right. Happy about my future. I know it is gonna be a good one!
I believe that God speaks and gives signs to some people…I pray that this night that God speaks to me and/or to my helpmate. Let US know. Comfort us. Give us patience. Let US Dream of one another.
Hope to travel to WV to see my family in a few weeks. I love and miss them dearly.
Over the past few years so many wonderful and exciting changes have came into my life. Some I help create,some were surprisingly sprung upon me and some transformations that I never even knew I wanted suddenly came galloping into my life. Hope that the metamorphosis continues.
I currently weigh over 100 lbs less than my highest weight of 315 lbs. (I am STILL over 200 lbs.) Gastric Bypass “Lap Roux-En-Y”and a low carb and high protein diet helped me get to this point. I would love to lose 25-35 additional lbs. I was on that way to that goal when Rosie (my sissy) underwent her Gastric Bypass “Lap Biliopancreatic Diversion with Duodenal Switch”and her subsequent MRSA infections derailed my weight loss. I gained 4 lbs. in the last 2 months. I am one of those people who EAT carbs when stressed and having my baby sister so ill,whom I am a caregiver for,was extremely stressful for me…hence I ate way more carbs than a diabetic or a gastric bypass patient should. At times,I still do. Rosie had nausea and some vomiting today so I ate a bunch of Hershey miniature candies and 2 bananas.. Sugar is 272 as I type this. Should be 70-120.. So disappointed in myself but I am gonna gain control…I have to.
All week I have had so much energy…well spurts of it at least. Right now I am hyper. Will prolly clean the dining area prior to bed. So glad that I am having SOME energy since I have virtually none the majority of the time due to chronic fatigue syndrome and fibromyalgia. Thinking back it seems I ALWAYS feel better in Sept/October…wondering if the cooler weather benefits me more than hot weather does. I have never tolerated HOT weather. Hmmm…gonna have to move to a more temperate climate …sunny,mild and breezy sounds lovely…Hawaii sounds about right!
I have so many plans for my future. Really gungho. I am gonna lose those 25-35 NAGGING lingering pounds…. and when I do I am gonna go have a tummy tuck. I absolutely positively detest my saggy and baggy lose skin in my stomach Panniculus region. I bet I could wear a size 6 or an 8 jean if I didn’t have this excess skin! In stretch denim I can wear a size 12 now.
I was this same weight 20 years ago when I married and divorced Michael Patterson Hager,Jr. He and I married 20 Years ago on Sunday. Divorced shortly after. He was just a brain fart in my life. LOL! I can NOT believe I married such a low life and gave up my virginity to him. (yep I was a 25 year old virgin. I was NO ANGEL…. He and I did fool around some prior to the wedding but I saved the best for last) I honestly am such a different lady now…Not as naive.
Age,Wisdom,Time,and Growth go hand in hand.
There have been times when I have acted high and mighty towards others and said things I regret. Acted like I was better than they were and I wish I hadn’t. I ask those whom I did this to to forgive me. I am no angel. Have never been and will never be. I am HUMAN and make mistakes like everyone else does.
I am very shy around those that I don’t know very well…BUT those close to me know that in actuality,I can be flirty,bawdy,raucous,and even hilarious. I hate having social anxiety. It keeps me from forming relationships…online and in real life. It has been 17 years since I dated. Yes…. it will be…. SEVENTEEN Years…. on Nov 18th. I have a wonderful ONLINE ONLY friendship with John. Known him for almost 4 years now.
You would never know it from reading my journal or my postings online but I have a high Intelligence Quotient…major issue I have is saying something that makes me look like a fool…or worrying about hurting other peoples feelings…. I worry way too much about what other people THINKS about me. Oh yep…I am also snobbishly proud to be the QUEEN Of the Ellipsis…LOL!
I want “THE REAL ANGELA”to come across online and in reality. I wish everyone could see the Angela that my sis Rosie and My Friend John sees. That would be a major breakthrough. I am gonna attempt to accomplish that and many other goals. 2011 has only a few months left and in those few months they are gonna be some spectacular changes in me. My appearance has changed dramatically in the 2 years,since I had gastric bypass and now is the time for my personality to shine brilliantly…. like a diamond in the sky. Sparking. Twinkling. Radiantly. Everlasting.
My renewed faith is strong and I know I can do anything I set my mind to.
I have to thank my beloved John for helping me get to this point in my life. He is the greatest man I have ever known after my Daddy. He is always there for me. Supportive. Compassionate. Considerate. Helpful. Complimentary. He is a professional. Works for the Scottish Government. Wears suits and Ties. WOW.. I loved the way he looked tonight. Majority of the time I see him in sweats but the past few evenings he has been working late and came to our webcam chat in his business attire. Tonight was a black dress shirt and a black and white polka dotted tie. So spiffy. Fashionable. I adore that he is so intelligent. He loves computers as much as I do. Knowledgeable in so many varied subjects…so unlike all the other men I have loved. Yes LOVED>I love that rascal and he loves me. He and I will remain ONLY friends unless God has other plans but for now it is a friendship. A partnership. He and I are emotionally closer than the preponderance of husbands and wives. He and I support one another. Comfort each other. ‘GET’one another. So happy that I replied to his message 4 years ago. I knew immediately he was different. He and I met at a BBW “Big Beautiful Woman”friendship site…which has since shuttered.
John has been having some problems with his arm/elbow after falling off a ladder last weekend. Having major trouble sleeping. Pray that he gets a good nights sleep. I can’t wait to see him tomorrow night.
I have been tidying up my bedroom so John and I can have a private talk. It has been a long time since we chatted in private. Maybe twice in the last 2 years. Have been chatting on my laptop in Rosie’s room. Been TEXT chatting only…hope to talk by phone/webcam chat this weekend. He only has been seeing my face on webcam…. This weekend I will let him see me and the weight I have since lost.
I am experiencing body issues. Nothing new…. I was 315 lbs when I met John…and I was actually more comfy with my body then than I am now. I used to be way more provocative back then. I miss that part of me. Lately I have been wearing short dresses and tighter clothes. Even dyed my hair back to the color it was 20 years ago when I weighed the same. BLACK hair just suits me better. Even been wearing human hair extensions and wigs. Gastric bypass caused me to lose some of my luxurious mane. I cut over 15″off over a year ago to see if that would make it look fuller. It didn’t…. Still almost as thin. My hair is now 23″long again. It was over 30″prior to the bypass. Hope to get it that long again. It is very healthy. Shiny. Just straggly and scrawny. Especially in the front area. I am just thankful that they make decent and affordable hair extensions and wigs now. I do wear my own hair the majority of the time but [...]
Rosie has had nausea and vomiting all night and into this morn. Taking Zofran IV or it. Vomiting is either her meds or clear foamy liquids. Not vomiting any food. Also having diarrhea. Having pain in her 2 drain areas from the MRSA abscesses in her lower left side. She is on Lortab and morphine via IV.
Dr Boyce said Rosie had a small piercing from the abscess into her colon. Not sure why. But may be from the CT needle abscess fluid withdrawal. Or may be related to diverticulitis. He called it a possible fistula. Will be here in the hospital a few more days.
Wants her to EAT all she can today. She has some peanut butter and strawberry jelly so far. Gonna try some scrambled egg next.
Gonna get Dad to bring me some clothes. I have 3 dresses here which I have been hand washing in shampoo and hanging to dry in the shower. Dad is also bringing us Rosie’s protein shakes and vitamins. Wish he could Sneak in our Cairn Terrier. Smoki Poki Loki. He has been missing us so bad that he barely is eating. Rosie and I talk to Smoki and our cats Jazzi ( long haired Siamese Ragdoll mix),Tater ( Ginger Red Tabby),and Punkin (Siamese) by speakerphone a few times daily. They all come to listen to us. Dad says they all get so happy to hear our voices.
Wish we could talk to Panther and Daisy. Panther ( Large Black/Gray Cat) is our outdoor cat. He is a stray cat and has taken up with us. He has been with us for almost 2 years now. For the last 6 weeks we have had a big stray dog outdoors whom we named Daisy . She is painfully thin and Dad is feeding her. Seems so sweet.
Gonna head to the cafeteria now. Getting bored with food now. UGH.
So blessed to had a caregivers help this weekend. Peggy helped us tremendously. I was able to nap 3-4 hours. Trying to catch up on lost sleep.
Gonna miss the additional help Rosie has been having the past 2 afternoon’s and nights. So hard to get her in and out of bed by myself.
Rosie had a good day. Peggy and I were able to shampoo Rosie’s hair. It had been 11 days since it was washed.
Rosie did well on her quota’s that Dr Boyce requires::
60+ grams of Protein
64+ ounces of Fluids
2 scoops of Dr Boyce’s powered vitamins.
I give Rosie lovenox injections daily.
Nurse Pete taught me how to clean her picc line with saline. Have to do it twice daily.
An RN will be here 3 x’s a week. They will be changing the picc line dressing and changing all the Wound Vac dressing from her open hernia wound. They also will be doing a PT and INR testing of her blood twice a week.
Rosie had some diarrhea today. Hope that it subsides. She is staying pretty full from all the protein shakes,juices,and water. She drank too much and too fast tonight and had minor indigestion.
Smoki,my cairn terrier,is so jealous that Rosie is getting so much attention. He has been down in the dumps…gonna give him extra attention before he goes to bed with me. He thinks everyone should be focusing on him.
My sugar got too low tonight. Just getting it back to normal. I ate some Strawberry Hi-Lo Low Carb Cereal…was Yummy.
I am aching all over tonight. Sore muscles and joints. Vicoden is not even helping with the pain and burning.
Had some weird ear sensations all day today. Not sure what is up with that.
Been so busy that I neglected taking my vitamins for the past 2 weeks. Started on them again last night.
Rosie’s caregiver Dina will be here for a few hours tomorrow and Wednesday. Peggy returns on Friday. Pete will be here Tues,Thurs,and Saturdays for the next 6 weeks.
Pray that Rosie’s hospital bed arrives tomorrow. Had to be special ordered. Grateful that Rosie has insurance that covers all her medical needs. Gonna get Dr Melling to order her a new wheelchair seat. Her wheelchair is so uncomfy that I am certain it is contributing to her lower back aches and pains.
I bet she has lost 20 more lbs. Will be excited to see how much weight she has lost. Will know Friday when she goes to Dr Boyce. Since she is in a wheelchair and unable to stand,Dr Boyce weighs her while in the wheelchair and then we take away 275 lbs for the wheelchair and its batteries.
I am hoping that I can get to my next goal weight by Friday. Fingers crossed. Only 4 lbs away!
Had a severe panic attack at the grocery store yesterday. Hate to go shopping alone.
Rosie is so sore that she can’t sit up very straight. So slouchy all the time. Pray she regains her strength. She is getting stronger by the day.
I have to take a letter from Dr Boyce to Dr Melling’s office in regards to her blood thinner management.
Need to get some groceries for dad. He says he has no food in the kitchen…our pantry is mainly filled with foods that he won’t eat…aka Healthy Foods.
I pray that Rosie sleeps well throughout the night and only has to get me up once. She has been waking me every 2 hours…she needs assistance with using her bedpan. She is drinking so many fluids that all she does is urinate. Dr Boyce wants her to urinate at least 600-700cc a day and she mets that quota easily in one peeing. I She is urinating around 10 times a day. I bet Dad does not pee 600 cc in a WEEK! He does not drink enough fluids and we constantly fuss at him.
Dad pickled some beets and eggs. They are so yummy. Will be even better by tomorrow.
Gonna go get Smoki and head to bed.
Thanks for your prayers for Rosie and may they continue. Thanks!
Rosie took some lortab elixir and is feeling much better and is napping. So glad she is. I was so worried. I napped a few minutes and heading back to the land of Nod.
Dad visited us today and has made it back home. He is using his c-pap and is feeling much better. Praise the Lord.
Rosie will get to go home tomorrow IF she gets in her liquids,vitamins,and protein.. and keeps them down. She vomited 2x’s yesterday. She has stopped the lortab and is taking tylenol for pain. Not in much pain 2day. Gonna be getting her up in her wheelchair today. Hope it is as pain free as possible. Rosie is no longer loopy. No talking in her sleep. More alert. She is actually making some sense today! She is drinking her fluids slower today. Only 1/2 oz for each 15 min. She has a slew of pills to take. We give her one every 30 min. Actually not we.. Just me! Dumb ass aide asked me for help to get Rosie on the bedpan. The prob was the aide was putting the potty under her the wrong way! Good Lord…she is suppose to at least know how to put a bed pan under someone the correct way! She is in her 60′s. Dad told me not to tell on her since she is so old. Dad is driving down today. Takes about 50 minutes to get here…depending on traffic. I slept well last night but I am tuckered out. Gonna nap off and on all day. Rosie is sound asleep. Yesterday in her sleep she was hollering for Smoki and the cats. I just got off the phone with Smoki. Dad says he was so excited to here my voice. Dad had it on speaker phone. Can’t believe he figured out how to turn on the speaker phone by himself. He can hear me so much better on speakphone. His hearing aids don’t do well with the phone even though the phone is hearing aid compatible. Time to wake Rosie up to take 1/2 oz of decafe ice tea. I just pray that Rosie gets back to her old self soon. She has had no tylenol for 8 hours now and is in no pain. Thankful for that. I am achy breaky all over. Fibromyalgia flare up! UGH!
My sis Rosie had gastric bypass yesterday. Doing well.
Her White Blood Count is still up. It was up prior to surgery. Giving her levaquin.
Her Iron is low. IV of Ferritin gluconate in Sucrose.
Took her over 12 hours to urinate. Nurses and doctor were worried. She has pee’d twice now. They are hoping her output increases.
She has had some nausea. On meds to stop it.
She drank more than anyone else who had gastric bypass yesterday. 22 ounces.
Doc told us she had a lot of scar tissue from her gall bladder and spleen removal surgeries.
Also has a umbilical hernia. Which is large. Doc doesn’t think it would affect her intestines since it is so large. Plans are to have hernia repair and a tummy tuck in 6-12 months.
Finally got an accurate weight for her. At least now we know. They had been weighing her in her weigh chair and then estimating how much the wheelchair weighed. Will know next week how much she has lost since she was weighed in her chair. They had weighed her then subtracted 275 lbs for her wheelchair. It is quite heavy.
Her drainage tube is working great. She has 5 keyhole incisions.
Gonna get her up around noon. She is gonna be so sore trying to get up and to transfer to her wheelchair. Prayers Appreciated. THANKS.
She is napping now. I have to wake her up every 15-30 min to drink 1-2 oz. Just made her orange crystal light. She loved it.
I ate at the Bistro. I had 1 sausage patty,1 scrambled egg,and 1/2 biscuit…It is not agreeing with me. Already vomited. YUCK! I still have 1 egg,1/2 biscuit and 1 sausage patty left. I also got a banana,a granny smith apple,and Orange juice Trop50. All that should last until late in the evening.
My feet and legs are swollen. My lil toes look like plump Vienna sausages. I am laying in a lazy boy chair with my feet propped up. Hoping the edema subsides.
The hospital has Facebook,MSN Live chat and even Farmville.com BLOCKED…UGH! My poor crops are liable to die. Poor lil babies. LOL!
I can get my emails.. but can’t not send any. I can use MSN Live ONLINE to send John messages. Gonna email him this posting.
Rosie is burping well.. but no gas yet. Getting gas is a milestone after bariatric surgery. In Laparoscopic Gastric Bypass they inflate the stomach area with gas to be able to get around the stomach liver,spleen,intestine,etc. Rosie had her spleen removed 11 years ago due to hemolytic anemia http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hemolytic_anemia . She was on the verge of death prior to removal of her spleen. They were not sure she would even survive surgery…The doc said it was a miracle that she done so well. She was better the day after surgery. At the time of her splenectomy http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Splenectomy she was on steroids to help with the anemia. The steroids caused her to go into Steroid psychosis http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Steroid_psychosis#Psychiatric_effects . She was seeing,hearing and smelling things not there. Plus she was on hyper speed. Would not shut her mouth YAK YAK YAK…and would stay up all night reading books.
Gonna go read email and then surf the news on the web.
Thanks for your prayers and may they continue.
~Angela
PS:Rosie just sat up on the side of her bed for the first time since surgery. Hope that next try she can transfer to her wheelchair.
My baby Sissy Rose Lee Goode is scheduled for Gastric Bypass “Biliopancreatic Diversion with Duodenal Switch” at 10 am tomorrow at Parkwest Hospital in Knoxville with Dr Stephen Boyce.
Thanks for all your prayers and may they continue.
Surgery is on Tuesday the 26th. Doc called and she has an infection somewhere. Starting Cipro. Having labs again on Monday.
Rosie has went from a size 32 jean down to a…26! Wow.. I am so proud of her.
A few months ago we paid over $40.00 for our Cairn Terrier Smoki Poki Loki to get a hair cut. Thought it was way too much. Watched some Youtube Video’s about dog grooming and bought him his own set of razor clippers. Gave him a “LION Cut”today. Was so easy and he didn’t mind it at all. The clippers were only $38 so we have already started saving money. He looks so adorable. He is out with Dad talking a walk. Dad spoils him so bad. He ordered Smoki his own Bacon Cheeseburger the other evening from Outback. Darn thing was $6. Last night Dad brought home leftover BBQ Ribs from Ruby Tuesday and I bought him some Ribeye. He wolfed it down. He refuses to eat dog food. Will occasionally eat some cat food. He steals it from our cats. Dad fries Smoki a pound of bacon to fed him. Smoki will sometimes eat cheese,chicken,steak,beef, and pepperoni.He loves Taco’s. LOL. He also loves Peanut butter protein bars and corn on the cob.
Rosie has on a live video of some French Bulldog puppies…they are so cute…I want one!
I was so sick last night. Didn’t fall asleep till 8 am this morn. Tummy issues. I am finally feeling better just tired.
I have been a lil panicky the last few days. Worried about Rosie and her surgery. I appreciate your prayers. Thanks.
My beautiful sis Rosie will be having Gastric Bypass in 5 days. She has already lost 60+ lbs on her own. She has dropped 2-3 pant sizes already. I ordered her 6 pairs of Jeans in smaller sizes just to give her inspiration. She is doing very well on her high Protein- low Carb diet. We both forgot to eat Supper.. remembered at 9:30 tonight. Made Creamy Alfredo PROTEIN Pasta.. enhanced with skim milk mozzarella cheese. It was so yummy.
Rosie made some sugar free chocolate pudding and added a scoop of protein powder. It was delicious!
I am about to hit a major goal…. Under 200 lbs. Slowly but surely! My next goal is to be 175. Plan on getting a tummy tuck when I hit that goal. I have so much loose skin. Mainly my tummy area.. I am still getting rashes under my belly region due to all the excess flabby skin.
I can ALMOST get in a size 8-10 jean now. I do have some dresses and pants in size 4-6.
I had a lovely evening with John. He is the sweetest man alive.I missed seeing him last night. My dad,Rosie and I spent Tuesday evening in Sevierville. Smoky Mountain Knife Works and Outback Restaurant. Nice to spend time like that with my Daddy and Sissy.
Rosie had her last pre-op testing today. She has lost over 50+ lbs since Feb!!! So proud of her.
Dr Boyce ordered a bilateral ultrasound test to check for blood clots in her legs. She had one today and will also have one after surgery. Dr Boyce and his staff are very well organized. WONDERFUL PROGRAM!!!
Surgery is less than 2 weeks away. I am so excited for Rosie! Have prescriptions for her meds that Dr Boyce requires prior and after surgery. Getting them filled tomorrow.
So far Rosie and I like all the foods that we have purchased from Dr Boyce’s office. Spent over $500.00 on the PROTEIN foods and vitamins. Rose is so finicky.. so pleased that she actually likes the PROTEIN items Dr Boyce sells.
I have lost 12lbs since my first visit. Dr Boyce wants to see me after Rosie’s surgery to discuss what he thinks need to be done for me. I only have lost 60 lbs since I had Gastric Bypass 21 months ago. Still would like to lose 50-75 MORE lbs. Dr Boyce has gathered all my records from Dr Mancini’s office. Just hope he suggests BPD/DS for me. Hope he can going back in and check my Roux-en-y. In order for my insurance to pay for additional surgery there has to be something wrong…Still having upper left quadrant pain and severe Irritable Bowel Syndrome.. which I have had since surgery.
Rosie is online looking for some dresses in smaller sizes. I still have a slew of dresses I bought prior to my surgery. One I wore for the first time today. Really cute mini dress…which I wore biker shorts under. Rosie almost bought a red prom dress today in a size 20. It was only $10…thinking to going back and buying it for her. Can’t wait till she is able to go into any store and find clothes that fits her.
Rosie had her nutrition class yesterday. Also had some labs drawn. Has more labs to be taken on Monday. Plus x-rays and ekg. Diet has begun. Her surgeon requires 2-4 weeks on his diet which includes his own line of protein enhanced foods such as pasta,cereal,oatmeal,shakes,puddings,even salty snacks. She is allowed 6 items of those daily plus she has to drink 64 oz or more or fluids daily. She has already started on her vitamin regime…which she will follow for life.
Rosie is now wearing the clothes I wore prior to my gastric bypass. She has lost 2-3 dress sizes already.
I have went from a size 26 to a 12-14. Even have a few size 9-10 pants.
I am so proud of Rosie for losing weight and for deciding on having surgery on her own. She will be having a BPD/DS Surgery on July 26th. Really appreciate all your prayers. May they continue….
SO happy with the news that my cousin Bekka received today. Hoping for even better news for her and her family. Plan on going to see her in Sept/Oct if not sooner. I love you Rebecca!
Rosie has an ear infection.. The nurse allowed me to look inside her ear…. it looks nasty and painful. She is on Augmentin for it.
Dad has not smoked in a few days and is really hard to deal with him. So moody. Pray that he can get his emotions controlled and loses his addiction to nicotine.
My uncle Franklin passed away yesterday. Prayers to my cuz Leslie and her family.
July 6th 8:00 Dr. Boyce CLASSJuly 6th 12:15 Dr. Boyce FINAL LABSJuly 11th 1:45 Dr. Boyce VISITJuly 11th 3:45 Hospital PRE-OPJuly 19th Coumadin STOPJuly 26th 7:00 SURGERY
She will be having Duodendal Switch with Biliopancreatic Diverision on July 26th with Dr Stephen Boyce as Surgeon.
Rosie and I both will be starting a MONTH long high protein liquid diet prior to her surgery. I am doing it in support of her. I hope to lose a few pounds and lose 15-25 lbs. during this time.
Rosie is getting excited about losing weight and regaining some of her life. Appreciate your prayers. THANKS!
I am so happy for her yet worried at the same time. I pray that surgery and recovery goes smoothly and that she can adapt readily to the lifestyle DS/BPD requires.
I had Roux-en-Y surgery on Sept 14th 2009 and lost over 1oo lbs. Doing well. I still can only eat small meals at a time. I have days where I still have issues with certain foods. But mainly eat what I want but in limited quantities. My life has changed since surgery. I have more confidence and self esteem. I can do more but with having chronic fatigue syndrome and fibromylalgia I often do more than I should and end up paying for it later. Like I can go out and shop for a few hours and then barely can get out of bed the next day. Still having fibro aches and pains as I did prior to surgery. I still don’t tolerate heat very well. It can be 95 degrees outside.. and when I walk into an air-conditioned store I end up with chills and torrential sweats. HATE THAT!
My Family doc has been trying various meds to help with my IBS. Was on Questran and it didn’t help. Start on Bentyl tomorrow. Been having cramps and diarrhea more and more often. Fecal incontinence is almost nightly now. No fun at all. Embarrassing and humiliating. Not sure what has caused this but it happened after Gastric Bypass Surgery. If Bentyl does not help Welchol is the next treatment planned. I am on Immodium a few times daily. Have been for years.
I start on metaglip tomorrow for my diabetes and stop glipizide. I continue on Victoza as long as I can get samples from my endocrinologist since my insurance will NOT cover it.
Still on Cymbalta,Xanax,and Trazodone for my nerves and anxiety.
I take Vicodin for my fibromylagia pain.
I am now wearing a size 10-12-14 in clothing.. All depends on the designer. I even have a few 7-9 that I wear. VANITY SIZING! Cause I am a size 16 I am sure! I have about 10-15 lbs of excess stomach skin. Gonna be talking to some plastic surgeons about removing it. Still desiring breast augmentation. What I once had is now saggy sloping deflated boobs. Have to roll em up to get them in my bra. LOL! Not really…but almost!
I still can’t believe I got my drivers license. So PROUD of myself. Major break-through for me. Congrats to myself.
John just got back from Portugal and Spain today. Has an awesome tan. Looks incredible. Glad he got some time to enjoy himself. Was thrilled to see him tonight. Woo-Hoo! We have a special date night planned for Wednesday. I missed him so much and cried daily while he was away. He and I webcam daily whenever possible. Have yet to meet. He is my best friend. We adore one another.
For 17 years I have not dated,been kissed or made love to. Yes,I am lonely and I pray to have patience,perseverance,wisdom,and guidance to whomever or whatever God wants me to have in my life.
I am going out to the mall tomorrow afternoon/evening. May go to the movies. Not sure yet.Rosie and I need new bedsheets. Plus Rosie needs a few items for after surgery. Already got her some really cute nighties. She has dropped 2 dress sizes this year. So proud of her. She is gonna be one hot sexy SKINNY mama! She is already gorgeous.. Can only imagine what she will look like in the future.
Went to The Great Smoky Flea Market yesterday. Got some lovely Fascinators. John loved the hot pink flowery fascinator I had on tonight. I also got 2 maxi halter dresses…BRAND NEW…for only $6 each. Got a size XL but needed L or perhaps a M. The dresses are so sexy but too revealing to wear out in public without a jacket or shawl. I wore the hot pink Hawaiian flowered one today to the Doctor. Mainly wore it for John. He thought I looked beautiful…and I DID! Also bought lots of $1 earrings. So adorable. Smoki went with us. He had a blast. He got fitted for a new red harness. He is so studly!
We were out for only around an hour yesterday. It was so hot. My body thermostat is all screwed up due to Fibromylagia…so when perspire…I sweat…dripping…drenched…UGH! They are times even in cold weather where I will have chills and the sweats at the same time. UGH. Frustrating to say the least. Since Gastric Bypass I get cold so easily. I will wear a sweatshirt most evenings cause I am so cold.
Another thing that has changed is my tailbone. I never had much of an Badonkadonk even at 315 lbs. So,now,after losing 110+ lbs I have zero butt left. No cushion there now…So my tailbone aches most of the day…. So I HAVE a pain in the ass daily.. Some say I AM a pain in the ass. LOL!
Allergy season is killing me. My nose will start dripping all the sudden…like a faucet…as well as my eyes tearing.. looks like I am crying. UGH! Benadryl and Claritin is not helping.
I have some leftover taco’s from El Sazon that I am making for my dinner tonight. I get them carryout. 9 taco’s with Meat and Cheese only…with Lettuce and Tomato on the side. They give me almost a head of lettuce and 2-3 chopped tomatoes. I remove the taco shells and discard them. The Taco meat,cheese,lettuce and tomatoes makes me at least 3 meals not counting how many dad and Rosie eats. So Tasty and filling. So glad that I can Still only eat small portions. Hope it stays that way forever.
I have also started doing laundry daily. Something I have never did in my life. I am getting good at it and actually enjoy it.
I am living with aches and pains from fibro,the IBS issues,my allergies,my insomnia/hypersomnia troubles,my diabetes,and my continuing social anxiety and panic attacks. It could be better and yet it could be worse…I am grateful for all the blessings and pray for the strength to conquer obstacles in my life. It will get better…
John (my best friend or I should say amigo) will be leaving in a few hours with his sister…. they are headed to Andalusia,Spain to celebrate the end of chemo and radiation treatments for his sis who was diagnosed with breast cancer. She needed a lumpectomy as well. He will be back next Monday but will hopefully find an internet cafe so he can send me a message or two.
He has not even left for the plane yet and I am already missing him. Been in tears. So stressed. Thank God for Xanax. He and I had a wonderful webcam session on MSN Live Messenger 2011. The best chat program around in my own humble opinion.
John has had a rough year. Severe infections,herniated discs,the flu,stomach issues…poor baby needs a holiday. He wasn’t feeling well tonight and was dreading the trip. I pray that he wakes up feeling better and can enjoy the time with his family. Nice breezy warm weather is my wish for him. Can’t wait to see his tan…he tans so nicely.
John asked me not to cry while he was away but I already have on 2 occasions and it has been less than 4 hours since I last saw him.
SHOPPING:
Went to the Farmers Market to find it closed. So we ended up at Walmart. Picked up some fresh produce:banana’s,peaches,watermelon,cucumbers,tomatoes,onions,and romaine lettuce. We already have pole beans in the fridge. Having all that tomorrow. YUMMY!
Gonna pick up some fresh strawberries,jumbo size cantaloupes,and corn on the cob this week.
Going to clean my bedroom tomorrow.
Tuesday Rosie (my sis) goes to her urologist for a KUB test.
Thursday will be Movie day…heading to the cinema’s…not sure what to see. Will either be Pirates of The Caribbean IV or X-Men:First Class…if Dad goes. If it is just Rosie and me,we will prolly see Bridesmaids.
Gonna try and keep busy…TRY to get my mind off John…I go insane without seeing him and talking to him daily. He gives me so much support and a serenity like I have never known.
Such a good man and an even better human being!
MAKE-UP:
I absolutely adore my Ardell Brow and Lash Growth Accelerator.
Ardell Brow and Lash Growth Accelerator.
My eyelashes are so much fuller and longer since I stated using it. THRILLED and it is such a BARGAIN in comparison to the similar production available.Plus I now have eyebrows!!! I am beyond thrilled with it.
I have also mastered filling in and enhancing my eyebrows. I am using Ardell Brow Defining Pallet Dark and Ardell Brow Sculpting Gel
Ardell Brow Defining Pallet
Ardell Brow Shaping Gel
Very pleased with ALL the Ardell Products I have tried.
NAILS:
I have pared my finger nails down. Very short. Gonna start growing them again. They grow so very fast. Gonna polish/varnish them with Revlon’s MidNight Affair and add some rhinestones to them tomorrow.
Revlon MidNight Affair Nail Polish Varnish
My toes are currently polished Black with a diamond dust overlay. My 2 big toes have a Large and a Small Rhinestone. So cute.I purchased so many adorable nail stickers…from the discount bin.
HAIR &MAKEUP:
I am digging my short BETTIE BANGS. I can wear them down or curl them back. I am now rocking the classic pin-up look with a more modern makeup approach. I did the classic pin-up eye today and ended up adding eyeliner gel to my lower lashline. My eyes get lost without it. I purchased the Professional ANGLED Finepoint Eyeliner Brush by ULTA and it is so much easier to draw a smooth line on my upper lash line. LOVE IT!
Ulta Finepoint ANGLED Eyeliner Brush
I have been using Extreme Wear Gel Liner By Ulta. Rosie and I have all 5 Shades. Each are lovely. Black,Brown,Blue,Green, and Purple. I adore the green. Really enhances my hazel eyes.
Extreme Wear Gel Liner ULTA
SOCIAL ANXIETY:
I had a panic attack at Walmart checkout. Got in line with a female cashier and before it was my turn to checkout…a male took over…He wanted to chat.. lately all men I meet wanna talk to me. PANIC STRICKEN…. I started sweating…drenched…then had chills while still perspiring heavily and then the racing heart. UGH!
HEALTH:
Gonna see my family Dr Blake Melling this week in regards to my nerves,anxiety,mood swings and my stomach issues.
STUFF:
I still can’t believe I got my drivers license. So excited. I am driving to Knoxville on Tuesday. One of my fave trips. I *THINK* dad is enjoying being chauffeured around.
I finally have my own set of keys to the house and our mini-van. Been buying all sorts of keys and key-chains. The house key is made from Tinkerbell casting! I usually don’t carry a purse but got an adorable blue jean Tinkerbell one.
TinkerBell
Also have a key-chain with ANGELA that is psychedelic and is animated when tilted…and a solar powered flashing light key chain that that says PRINCESS>John calls me Princess. Also have a pink flashlight for my key-chain and a massive pink crystal heart. Also got some Tinkerbell window decals for MY van! I tell Dad it is now MINE. LOL!
A Local Bank temperature reading today was 101. It was a scorcher.
I am off to read the news,gossip,and Facebook status’of my friends and family and then heading to bed.
I am not the same woman I was a few years ago and that is in a good way.
I only wish I could enjoy all the fabulous changes and opportunities coming my way…But Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and Fibromylagia are not allowing that. If I over-do it even a lil bit I am down for days trying to recoup from it. I have been aching from my head to my toes lately. Exhausted and lethargic. Been needing 12 hours of sleep even to attempt getting up the next day.
I have to Thank God,Dad,Rosie and John for helping me overcome so many obstacles. Also many thanks to all my doctors:Dr Blake Melling (Family Doctor) ,Dr Joanne Langton (Endocrinologist) ,and Dr Aqueel Kouser (Rheumatologist) to just mention a few.
Spent a lovely 3 night / 4 day weekend in Gatlinburg with my Sister Rosie. I was more fatigued this time than last years mini-vacay to Gatlinburg Family Fest / Gaither Homecoming Concerts. Went to 5 shows. Had a good time in spite of hurting in my shoulders,neck,back,legs and tailbone. I had to go to the bathroom often just to help relieve some of the tailbone aches. It helped.
I am down over 110 lbs now. Wearing a size 10-12. Receiving so much attention from men and I love it. Had guys ask me this past weekend if they could have their picture taken with me…. and that is not counting the ones who took my picture without even asking. FLATTERING.
I am dressing different than I had been. Getting back to dressing more provocative but not over doing it…gotta remember I am a 45 year old woman. Loving wearing dresses and showing off my legs.
Angela trying to look sexy and failing at it miserably. LOL!
My hair is now Jet Black. I use to dye it black for years…mainly in my 20′s. Love it and so does everyone else! I also cut some short bangs ala Bettie Page style.. but I still can style them away from my face if I want to. I sometimes wear hair extensions,wigs,and clip on pony-tails on occasion. Like to change my look often. Been wearing my hair is a beehive bouffant style lately.
Rosie had a eye appt. Visual Field Test prior to starting Plaquenil. My eye doc who is also Rosie’s eye doc,his nurse and receptionist barely recognized me. First time they had seen me with Makeup. I look majorly different with makeup they could not believe how beautiful I looked today.
I finally was brave enough to go take my road test to get my drivers license. Didn’t tell no one but Dad and Rosie just in case I failed…BUT I passed on my first attempt. WOO-HOO! Now if I can only get Dad to let me and Rosie take the mini-van out alone. He still says no…that I am not ready for that yet. I hope to make a short trip out with just Rosie and I…. we may go to the grocery store OR to McDonalds for some Unsweetened Ice Tea. MAYBE.
Rosie has a surgery date for Gastric Bypass. It is July 26th. She has to get pre-op testing,take an education class over the next few weeks. She will be on a low carb-high protein diet all of July. She has already lost 2 dress sizes. I am so proud of her.
Rose and Angela Picture was taken on Rosie's 44th Birthday
Gonna be driving to West Virginia to visit family as soon as the weather dips down to the 70′s- mid 80′s.
I do have more self confidence on some days. Still suffering from panic attacks. On Xanax full time now. SNOOZE…
My Rheumy has me on a high dose of a narcotic and it is helping *some* with the pain I have but it makes me so drowsy. ZZZZZZZZZZZZZ. Snore…
Sugars are doing well. My Insurance will not cover Victoza injections but my doc is willing to give me samples. I may have to go on byetta soon. Will see.
Been having severe anxiety and depression at times. Gonna discuss it with Melling this week. I feel so helpless and worthless at times.
Rosie’s lower back has been aching for a few weeks now. She sees her urologist Dr Bedford Waters this week in Knoxville. I am driving. Can’t wait.
I am 45 years old and got my first set of keys for the car and house now.
I even pumped gas for the very 1st time last week. Kudos to me.
I have been pampered,spoiled and protected by my family for far too long.
I have even learned how to wash and dry clothes…still haven’t mastered the skill of putting clothes away. Nor doing dishes.
Dad has been in and out of the hospital for a few months. Currently he has protein in his urine,enlarged heart,COPD,pneumonia,a bum knee that needs replaced…and a case of the worst “grumpys n grouchys” in the world. His Doctors doesn’t want him doing anything but he still does some…albeit not as much as he used to. I know how tough it is on him to sit and do nothing…that contributes to his moodiness. He is rough on me and Rosie at times but we still love him.
Smoki went to Lowes today. Oh yea.. Smoki is my Cairn Terrier. He loves Lowes…and of course everyone adores Smoki. He is a doll. He wore his black leather fringe bandana today and he goes crazy when he see’s it and can’t wait till it is on him …and hates when we take it off. Went to Lowes to look for Dad a new riding lawn mower. Should be delivered tomorrow. His old lawn tractor has seen its last days. Also bought Dad a new TV 32″LCD Plasma. He put it in his bedroom since that is where he spends most of his time lately. Appreciate prayers for him. THANKS!
Smoki My Cairn Terrier aka TOTO Dog
Then we took Smoki to Wendy’s for a Jr. Bacon Cheeseburger plain. His fave.
Smoki
Came home to a brilliant webcam session with John. He is heading to Spain on Monday with his Sis to celebrate her finishing her last chemo/radiation treatments and hopefully is now free of breast cancer. John is the best. He and I get closer daily. Known one another for over 3 years now. Best friends. I am already missing him. He will be away a week but will send me emails/text messages.
Been having severe stomach issues again. Left upper quadrant pain and other issues. IBS Sucks.
May go to the cinema to see a movie this weekend.
Praying for all my Aunts,Uncles,and cousins…as well as my friends. Been reconnecting with so many people I went to school with on Faceook. I love getting reacquainted.
Tailbone is aching so I had better finish this and post it. Heading to bed.
Rose and I are requesting prayers for our cousin and her family. God knows the issues and we trust He will guide her to the support and help she needs. We adore her and will NEVER give up on her. Pray that she rests well tonight. Sending her all our love,prayers,and support.
Dad is still having severe edema and is so grouchy…he has been driving all of us insane including our pets.
I pray that he is feeling better tomorrow.
I even pulled over and had Dad drive today due to him making me so nervous. I even cried.
Had a nice lil chat with John. Adore that man. He always helps me relax and is so supportive and attentive. Sending love and prayers to him. He is working @ home for a few weeks due to a back injury and an infection. He was not feeling well and went to bed early. He arrived at chat late cause he was sleeping but said he had to see me tonight. So Sweet and Precious.
Started on Questran for my IBS. Increasing my dosage from once a day to twice a day to see if that helps. So far once a day doesn’t do much.
Been more active lately since Dad has been in and out of the hospital with Pneumonia and Urinary Retention. BUT I am wore out. Aching all over. Chronic Fatigue and Fibromylagia sucks.
Planted some strawberry and tomato plants in the garden this week …. also sowed some catnip seeds for my fur babies Tater,Jazzi,Punkin and Panther.
I have been driving a lot the past few weeks. Adore driving on the four lane. Gonna attempt to get my drivers license in the next few months.
Haven’t been sleeping well. Some nights I sleep like a baby then others I don’t sleep much at all.
Allergy Season is rearing its ugly head. Waiting on my insurance to approve Allegra for me. My forehead,eyes,nose and cheeks are swollen. So pianful. I go from a stuffy nose to a runny faucet in a matter of minutes some days. I even hurt in my ears,teeth and jaw from it.
Been taking better care of my hair,skin,nails and body. Hope to post a blog about it soon. Just so much is on my mind and so much transpiring that I haven’t posted much at all. Sorry. I know lots of my family and friends read this.
I dyed my hair…jet black. It is a medium brown naturally but I have dyed it Red for 6-7 years now. I use to dye it black.. way back in the day. Man I am getting old since I can say WAY BACK IN THE DAY. LOL
Hope to post some reviews on items I have purchased as well as places I purchase stuff from.
Rosie is doing great. She has dropped 2 dress sizes already. She still needs medical clearance letter from her family physician Blake Melling to get approval for Gastric Bypass…. Looks like it will be Summer when she has it. We all adore Dr Melling. Best doc we ever had. SO compassionate. He explains things and listens to us. Dad,Rosie and I all see him. Mom did as well. Good Man!
Ok it is 2 am and here I am blogging when I should be in bed. Heading that way.
Sending love and prayers to Aunt Susie’s family. I love all of you.
Also much love to my cousin Brandy. Hope to see all my WV Family soon as Dad is well enough to travel.
